08102010
I was giving some nostril drop , spray and this mentol thingy to smell in the ward to clear my nostrils .
I thought I'm getting better and I even thought of leaving the ward and sleep at home that night.
Dad,Sis & SIL came over to visit, I was still alright , then friends pay another visit. Before they leave,I felt so bad that I think my bloooody nose had shocked them.
*guilty*The bloody nose keep bleeding for the 2nd time while we happily chit-chating.I felt some liquid is dropping thru my throat again.I asked for tissue and I split and it showed.
I was in real worry in fact but I try not to show how sad and worry I'm when my friends is around as I felt bad to get them worry too but still I felt I'm failed.
Doc showed up ard 11pm and I can't tell how pain it is when the doc put a
I grabbed the doc hand and he just "slot" the pad in hardly to my left nostril and spray some salt water to soften the pad to block my bleeding.I screamed and shedding my tear while they wipe off my bloody face.
I felt to cry out loud for the pain but I knew it will caused much more worry for toi and others so I shed off my tears and try to put back a ;) on my face no matter how pain I'm .
They left and I silently pray myself wishing so hard there will have someone to hear me and grant me for a safety night ..
Seem my prayer is not strong enough ..
09102010
2:30am
I felt the bleeding once again from the uber uncomfortable sleep.. I rang the bell and the nurse can't hear me . They moved sovslow while my nose bleeding so fast.
I got them to call doc once again and I knew some of them got shocked to see the bleeding too.This time the blood didn't go thru the throat as the pad had blocked it so it's "flush" out via my nostril I try to grab as much tissues as I can to wipe off the bleeding and I got them to give me the ice while the nurse just stunt to see how scary my bleeding is ..
I can't remember was I crying or was I screaming but seriously i felt so helpless to see the blood on the tissues ..
I saw there is much longer pad they got which they try to block my bleeding nose.I hate to recall that moment .. Doc came and said he had to just block 2 side of my nostrils try to release the tension of the left side see whether will it stop afterward.
He kept say sorry to me as the longer pad cause much more pain. I knew as i screamed out loud and cry out loud the moment he "slot" the pad in on my right nostril. I even grabbed his hand hard refuse to let him do so but then the pain make me weaker and all I can was just crying .
Things never ends, doc pulled out the previous pad from left nostril and replace the longer one while I'm still struggle, crying and stil in pain.I was so helpless again, the nurses just wiping off my tears with blood while I'm still shedding my tears in fear with lotsa pain.
Seem the doc don't have any treatment for me, he suggested he shall transfer me to another hospital for a suitable treatment to stop the bleeding, he went on the checking while I'm siting alone in the ward with some ice-cube which the only hope I had that it'll stop the bleeding tho.
I keep praying myself hoping time pass fast, hoping day come fast so that I can call up toi or dad for some help or mayb some support as I really so helpless.
But my prayer are so weak I'm sure . Doc told me that he found a treatment and doc which suitable for my bleeding nose and without any hesitate I just nod & pray that this will really help.
They called and arranged for the ambulance transfer while I being transferred to icu @ 3am+ in the early morning to wait.
I sms'ed toi to come ovr for some transfer procedure. I was so sick and pain but I told him not to worry that I'm alright.( He told me he got shocked the time he saw me in the icu afterward as my nose was swelling cause of the 2 pads in my nostrils.) he is succeed to prevent he is alright to see me that moment just like I tried to put a : ) on my face when I saw him.
I felt released to have him there.He came to me rubbed my head and gave me a hug and hand it do really gave me lotsa hope I must said.
Time passed slow still while the procedures done and transferred to another hospital.
5am+ I was in EA bangsar pantai .I been transferred to another icu with lotsa plug on me while wait for doc .. I felt so calm while they "works" on me, perhaps I'm tired, real tired.
They said doc will be there for me when the day come .As time passed I felt the both pad in my nostrils fulled of blood as it's block my throat which caused my chest pain and I hardly to breathe. The throat getting dry and pain as the previous blood I "drank" is dried and full.
After I being cleaned they let Toi to see me.. He came over to give me a hand again and i felt safe. We both tried to be calm which I knew he is so much worry to see me with so many plug and swelling on my face.
*seriously i got shocked to see this swelling nose afterward*
I prayed so hard myself.
I prayed I'll get over the surgery asap.
I prayed I'll get healthier.
I prayed my angels do really heard me.
And I guess they did. They told I'm going for a surgery called "angel-gram" the moment the doc walk in I felt ALRIGHT !!! That's my " angel " came and I knew I'm gonna be alright. ( but which Angiogram is the actual name of the surgery tho.. Darn failed of moi !!!)
After all the story telling, diagnose, surgery procedures explained and paper signed. It's officially I'm gonna be sent in operation room for the bloody nose afterward.
They unplugged me from the ICU room all the way to the so-called "angel" room I just felt CALM. Seriously CALM .
That was my first time in a surgery room. Moi sis told before that it's so scared while in an operation room but its just alright for me.Perhaps I'm much more worry when I see the bloody nose.
The "angel" room was really cold and its pack with lotsa nurse , doc, equipment and lots of computer screen . The room ain't as silence as what we see in TVB drama which we think it should be or maybe my case was abit in rush and sudden hence they sent me in still while wait for the ENT doc come that's why Lots of ppls talking in the room which makes it's not as scary as what I think it should be. Lots of question asked which I can't remember afterward. I just felt they talked about me , discuss about me and putting really another batch lotssss of plug on me.
Then the anesthesiologist came last and he gave me an injection and put me an oxygen mask then ..... i'm
..................... N hours later ......................
"Girl .. girl ... Girl .. hello girl ..." *pat pat*
I heard someone calling me ..
someone
i heard them but i can't move ..
they patted on me even harder.
i tried to move my finger to show i heard them.
But they keep "slapping" me and keep calling me ...
i tried to open my eyes and i did open for 1sec maybe ??
i heard lots of nurse & doc are talking again ..
i guess i was safe & back in the "angelroom" !!
i felt dizzy ..
Someone pressing my leg ..
Someone moving me ..
Someone sealed my wound ..
Someone put me an oxygen mask ..
Someone moved me aside ..
i KNEW .. i'm ALIVE !!!!!
i felt to cry ... but i'm so weak.
i felt hard to breathe and i'm choking follow with a vomit.
Someone cleaned me ..
i told them i can't breathe with a very weak voice ..
Someone put back the mask on me..
Someone talked to me ..
Someone asked me to breathe via my mouth..
i told them i'm cold ...
with my eyes close ...
i can't even open my eyes ...
Someone gave me another blanket to make me warmer...
i told them my throat is in serious pain ..
Someone answered me ..
it's alright girl .. you are safe ...
i asked what the times is now ??
Someone told me its 12:35pm ..
OMG !!!!! i been in the "angelroom" for more than 3 & half hours ..
i'm sure Toi & others must be worry on me ..
Someone moved me to somewhere else ...
I opened my eyes so hard for another 2 secs ..
i was in ICU room..
*i just felt to T.T each time i saw this ..i'm sure TOi is much more sad to see this *
i heard ENT doc came in to check on me ..
it's TOI !!!!
i think i : ) ... but with the mask on i don't think they see it ..
or maybe i'm too weak to show a : ) on but i remember i was : )
the moment i saw Toi ...
i tried so many times to open my eyes ... just to have a look on him to show i'm safe ...
Then i guess he did came over and gave me another hand .. i felt super CALM and SAFE ..
i told Doc my throat is really in pain .. And doc explained which i forgot now.
I think doc told Toi i'm safe but i'll sleeping still and asked him to come over afterward.
i think Toi rubbed my head , gave me a kiss before he leave..
i assumed so .. which my memory is getting worst for that .. =='
i knew i keep fall in sleep for that moment ..
i opened my eyes ..
then i fall in sleep ...
i opened my eyes again ..
and i fall in sleep again ..
Hours ago, i heard someone ... i tried to open my eyes for few times again and i saw dad .. still i felt tired and dad show me a sign not to talk and continue to sleep.
Then i slept for don't know how long .. i'm awake when nurse gave me some water for my serious sore throat . Then i drank and i vomit again ... then nurse gave me some ice cream with ice water .. i'd it just to freeze my throat . And i fall in sleep again after and i heard dad again ..
He tah-pao'ed "hot stuff" for me which scared the nurse (as i can't have any hot food yet ) and it's became Toi's dinner afterward. =.="
Then Toi came before dad leaved.
And i'm here .. ALIVE !!!! ... This is the way i show i'm : ) as i can't open my mouth .. =='
i'm still in the ICU room till 10/10/10 noon .
10/10/10 8am
This "Cold" fish porridge is the 1st meal of moi since 08/09/2010 . (which my last meal is on 6pm 08/09/2010)
Say bye bye to this thingy ...
And this too .. it's awfully pain ... T.T
Here is the wound of my nose while there is still something inside to protect the wound inside.
11/10/10 8am
This is my breakie before i discharged . Which i can swallow only one plain roti so hard ... =='' darn hard ..
Here's my doc .. my "Angels" ... even they charged really lots on bill . =.="
i remembered my prayer to get back moi FRESH AIR.
i'm trying so hard to be half vegan now as my family's member is all "meat-lovers" hence it's so hard if i want to be a full vegetarian. Anyhow , i agreed with never say NO to any food/vege/meats but as for my prayer i at least have to try to say no to meats (with legs) for a while . That's my promises.
I think i'm quite success, at least since i discharged and its been 10days i didn't had any meats besides some fish . But i just had very little vege also as my mum really cooked very lil vege tho. and they kept
Be healthy and stay alert peeps.
Thanks for anyone who concerned and cares.
Posted using BlogPress from Genz's iPhone® 11/10/2010 - 20/10/2010
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